What my kids taught me about the gift I almost threw away
“How many sleeps till Sabbath, Mom?”
I looked up from my laptop, surprised. It was Tuesday afternoon, and my seven-year-old was already counting down to Friday evening.
Not to a birthday party. Not to Christmas morning. Not to a family vacation.
To our weekly Sabbath dinner.
Three months earlier, I would have been confused by this question. Three months earlier, I didn’t even know what Sabbath was, much less practice it with my family.
But sitting there, watching her eyes light up with anticipation for something as simple as lighting candles and eating dinner together without phones, I realized something profound:
My children were teaching me what I had forgotten about rest.
The Week Everything Changed
It had been one of those weeks. You know the kind. Michael was traveling for work. The dishwasher had broken, flooding the kitchen. Two kids had stomach bugs at different times. My biggest client had moved up a major deadline.
By Friday afternoon, I was beyond exhausted. The thought of preparing a special meal and going through our still-new Sabbath routine felt as impossible as climbing Everest in flip-flops.
I was mentally rehearsing how to gently suggest we skip Sabbath—just this once—when our ten-year-old appeared in the kitchen doorway.
“Mom, can I start setting the table? I’ve been thinking about what I want to share for my blessing tonight.”
She’d been thinking about it. All week.
While I’d been drowning in to-do lists, she’d been anticipating this moment. While I’d been viewing Sabbath as another item on my schedule, she’d been treasuring it.
What I Saw in Their Eyes
That evening, despite my exhaustion and the chaos swirling around us, we gathered at our table. I lit the candles with trembling hands, wondering if this was worth the effort.
Then I looked at my children’s faces in the candlelight.
Pure anticipation. Genuine joy. Deep contentment.
Not because we were doing anything spectacular. Not because I had prepared a Pinterest-worthy meal or created the perfect atmosphere.
Because we were together. Without agenda. Without rushing to the next thing.
When had I stopped seeing the magic in simple presence?
The Lesson in “Three More Minutes”
Our youngest, who usually negotiated for “three more minutes” of everything—three more minutes of screen time, three more minutes before bath, three more minutes before bed—sat contentedly at our table for over an hour.
No fidgeting. No asking when we’d be done. No complaints about being bored.
For the first time in months, time wasn’t the enemy.
Watching her, I realized what we’d accidentally created: space where no one was in a hurry. Where conversations could meander and stories could be told and laughter could erupt without someone checking the clock.
We’d given our children something I’d forgotten they needed: unhurried parents.
The Friday They Taught Me About Priorities
A few weeks later, I faced a choice that would have been a no-brainer in my pre-Sabbath life.
A potential client wanted to meet Friday evening. Big project. Great opportunity. The kind of call that could significantly impact our business.
“I’m sorry,” I heard myself saying, “but Friday evening doesn’t work for me. How about Monday morning?”
After I hung up, my twelve-year-old looked at me with something I hadn’t seen in her eyes in a long time: pride.
“You protected our Sabbath,” she said simply.
In that moment, I realized my children were watching how I treated this sacred time. And they were learning what I valued most.
The Question That Changed Everything
Six months into our Sabbath journey, our middle child asked me something that stopped me in my tracks:
“Mom, remember before we did Sabbath, when you were always stressed about work?”
I nodded, a little embarrassed that my stress had been so obvious to an eight-year-old.
“I don’t really remember what that felt like anymore,” she continued. “It’s like that was a different family.”
A different family.
She was right. The rhythm of pressing pause every week had fundamentally changed not just our Friday evenings, but our entire family culture.
We’d become people who knew how to rest. Who prioritized presence over productivity. Who created space for what mattered most.
What They See That I Missed
My children don’t overthink Sabbath the way I do. They don’t worry about doing it “right” or question whether we have time for it.
They simply receive it as a gift.
They’ve taught me that Sabbath isn’t about perfect execution or elaborate preparations. It’s about showing up consistently, week after week, and trusting that something beautiful will happen in the space we create.
They’ve shown me that anticipation itself is part of the blessing. That looking forward to rest is just as important as experiencing it.
They’ve reminded me that delight is always available to those who slow down enough to notice it.
The Inheritance I Almost Didn’t Leave
As I watch my children grow into teenagers and young adults, I see how these weekly rhythms are shaping them.
They know how to be present. They value relationships over achievements. They understand that their worth isn’t tied to their productivity.
They’re growing up with something I had to learn as an adult: that rest isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.
This isn’t just a practice we do. It’s an inheritance we’re passing down. A legacy of choosing depth over speed, presence over productivity, being over doing.
Your Children Are Watching Too
Whether you have kids or not, someone is watching how you treat rest. How you prioritize presence. How you respond to the invitation to slow down.
Your children. Your friends. Your colleagues. Your future self.
What are you teaching them about what matters most?
This Friday, consider giving them—and yourself—the gift my children taught me to treasure.
Light a candle. Put the phones away. Create space for unhurried presence.
And then count how many sleeps it takes before someone starts asking when you’ll do it again.
Ready to create your own family rhythms of rest? Take the Pressing Pause Challenge this week.
Want to understand why this practice matters so much? Read The Missing Commandment for the biblical foundation.
Discover how this simple practice can transform your entire family: Get Pressing Pause available on Amazon.
Michael and Selah Hirsch are the founders of Start Sabbath, helping leaders, achievers, and families around the world discover the gift of sacred rest.
Get in touch!
